Anger can be a valuable tool if you know how to use it.
Self growth through anger can actually be some of the greatest lessons you’ll ever learn. This particular emotion is a great indicator that something is seriously wrong and that you need to do something about it. If you take the time to actually examine your anger instead of just “feeling” angry you’ll gain incredible insights into yourself.
Why Are you angry?
Ask yourself, “Why are you really feeling this way?” If your response is something like “because Joe didn’t pick up the dry cleaning like I asked him to” then you’re not looking deep enough. Blaming others is the superficial response. The fascinating thing about anger is that what you think makes you angry really isn’t what causes you to get upset.
They are simply the trigger for your emotion. They set off something inside of you by hitting on one your “buttons” or something that causes intense feelings for you. For example they may bring out past feelings of guilt or make you feel like you’re being rejected or that you’re not good enough. So, when you realize that you’re feeling anger, ask yourself what bothers you the most about the situation? What is it telling you about yourself, your needs, your wants, etc.
Change Yourself and Not Others
The other thing to remember when feeling angry is that you can’t change other people. You can only change yourself and how you react to it. Once you figure out why you’re so angry, you then have a pretty good idea of what you need to change. You also have a better idea of what personal issues you need to work on.
Feel unappreciated? Figure out why and how do you change your own feelings towards that? Mad at your spouse for burning the toast? Most likely that’s not what’s really bothering you. Usually, it’s a symptom, not the cause. Take control of the situation and change yourself. Your emotion has provided you with the clue, now figure it out.
Then Look for A Sign That You’ve Figured it Out
A sure sign you’ve figured out the true cause of your anger is the moment when you feel the anger suddenly subside. Until you figure out the real reason, the emotion will remain. It will be like when you have a thorn in your thumb. You may think you have it out but when you feel a prick every once in awhile, you know it’s still there. It’s not out until you deal with it.
A sure sign that you haven’t dealt with the real reason is that you find that you get irritated very easily with everyone and everything. It will seem like everyone is just out to wreck your day.
Its Worth the Effort
When you’re absolutely furious at something or someone it can be hard to get yourself to start thinking about why it bothers you so much. The more you do it, the easier it gets though. You are able to move forward with your life because you have resolved the issue instead of just stuffing it down inside. If you deny your true feelings, episodes of anger are going to occur again and again until you deal with it. Think of it as a gift you’re being given to learn about yourself and how to